Acceptance and Forgiveness

The pain of regret can be immense. Have you ever felt like you failed at something in life? At one point I felt like I had failed life entirely. I let down family and friends and I let myself down. The heavy weight of guilt can be really hard to bear. By my choices, I allowed my addictions to drive me into a very dark and lonely place in my life. In a moment of clarity, I realized that getting bogged down in guilty feelings and feeling sorry for my self was only going to create more stress and drive me deeper into alcoholism. I had to take self judgment and condemnation off of the table. I could not change the past or what I had done, but I could step up, rise to the occasion for change and turn things around starting in the present moment.

I shifted my focus onto recovery. I knew I needed to somehow allow space for self acceptance and forgiveness. But the voice of self judgment and criticism kept hounding me. Ultimately I looked to the examples set by my wife and the God of my understanding for help. My reasoning was that if my wife and God were willing to accept and forgive me, then how could I, not do the same.

Yet what I have found over the last few years is that forgiveness is an ongoing process. The "mental beatdown crew" of my past conditioned thinking, still tries to rise up and assert its place in my thinking. What do I do? Send it packing!!! I stand up for myself. I assert my new and more postive beliefs and affirmations about myself and others in my life.

"I am a loving individual who give loves and respect and deserves love and respect"

"Even though I have made mistakes and poor choices in the past, I am flowing in an abundance of grace, peace and power by choice!"

Gratitude shifted my focus outside the story of ME. I practice appreciation and give thanks for everything in my life. By doing this, I am able to allow massive feelings of gratitude to come in. Gratitude opens up the door to appreciation and acceptance of my self.

As I move forward and acknowledge the value of myself as a human being, I expand my acceptance of me. I open my heart to greater forgiveness.

Every time I choose to honor myself and others I am showing respect my humanity and accepting responsibility for all that I am. Accepting my imperfections is sometimes a difficult part of the process, but never a reason to quit. I can live with being imperfect,knowing that am working towards enhancing my humanity, rather than rejecting or shunning it. Commitment to life long sobriety is a vital part of this enhancement.

Yours in Sobriety http://leanandsober.com

James "Scott" Murphy