Giving Ourselves Credit Where Credit Is Due

I was having a conversation with my Brother recently wherein we acknowledged that we both have tendencies of being really hard on ourselves. Not necessarily in a constructive way, but rather in a judgmental or critical way.

I suppose you could say, that maybe being hard on yourself, tends to drive a person towards higher standards or strive to achieve higher goals.

However, I think that being too hard on ourselves often does more harm than good. For one thing my brother and I also noticed that we were failing to give ourselves credit for all the positive, supportive and loving things we do.

Why do we tend to focus on the negative things? Why are our shortcomings so much more in the forefront of our thinking?

Well for one thing, if I went around proclaiming "I am awesome!" "I am a wonderful human being!!" " I really, really love myself!" "I am a marvelous, fabulous person!!", to some degree other people might think I was vain or arrogant.

So personally, I think that I have a programmed tendency to naturally put myself down, (so to speak) or minimize my importance, because I am afraid others will think I am being lofty or full of myself.

I do believe however that we can strike a happy balance, where we can have truly excellent viewpoints and feelings about ourselves, while demonstrating genuine humility about the shortcomings that we all inevitably end up showing.

Maybe nobody is perfect, but that doesn't mean we can't be wonderful people and think of ourselves that way.

My wife and I have a rule, that we never allow each other to demean ourselves over a mistake we have made. We just don't tolerate it. If I start to down myself, she calls me out on it. Although she does reserve the right to point out my deficiencies as she sees fit :) That was supposed to be a point of humor.

After all, we all make mistakes. Of course we need to admit those mistakes. At the same time, I believe there is great power and value in acknowledging our great qualities and deeds. As we recognize and give credit where it is due in ourselves, then hopefully that will translate into praise for others.

I suggest you pat yourself on the back today, for something you have done or said. A kind word or courteous gesture might seem like a small thing, but sometimes it makes all the difference in the world.

You might be surprised how much good you really do in this world.

Have a great day!

James Scott Murphy