Overcoming Alcoholism Through Acceptance

What I did not mention in my profile is that my addiction to alcohol and gambling finally came to a head, when I was arrested for felony theft on Aug 15th, 2007. I admitted to stealing thousands of dollars in gold coins from a trusted friend and neighbor. 

Without going into the long, sad details, suffice to say that I was arrested, my offense was published on the internet and in the local news. I was fired and my wife and I were evicted all within the span of one week. I will write more in upcoming blogs about the specifics of my experience. At 45 years of age, about to become a first time father, unemployed, and facing a felony conviction, it became clear to me that I had to deal with my problems.

I spent over 25 years denying my alcoholism and 2 years denying my gambling problem. Even though family members and friends were telling me I needed to get help. I wouldn't do it. Why?

It's more complicated than this,but the bottom line is that I had never been willing to truly accept the whole truth about my alcoholism and gambling. I new I had a serious problem with both. But I was not willing to face or more importantly accept the truth. Again, I ask why? Others will say I was living in denial. And granted this is true. But why? Why would I deny something that was so obviously detrimental, for so many years?

You see many brave souls standing up in AA meetings, stating their names and acknowledging they have a drinking problem. But does that really constitute true acceptance? I can't speak for others, but what I discovered about myself is that certain core beliefs about myself, my alcoholism and my gambling problem, kept me trapped in a cycle of denial and unwillingness to accept the truth. More on this later.....

As of this posting I have been sober for 1 year 4 months, 2 weeks and 3 days.

I did plead guilty to a lessor felony theft charge, paid back the victim in full and am currently seeking an early release from probation. Fortunately I spent no time in jail. I am currently writing a book that I hope will help others in their decision and commitment to life long sobriety.

Does the truth really set me free? I believe it has and will continue to free me in many ways.

James Scott Murphy